Wrocilem...

Wrocilem...choc wciaz wydaje mi sie, ze stoje na sniegu, na zewnatrz mieszkania w Brooklyn, i czekam na ten moment, na ten wielki moment w ktorym odzyskam nadzieje w swiat, w to ze istnieje milosc z wzajemnoscia.

music...food for my soul

Why do I still say "My first"
Why do I say "My last"
shouldn't I say "Who knows.."

Music, I ban it from my life for distracting my soul,
I nurture it for healing my heart
But...what's more important?

Kalbimdesin (You are in my heart)

To experience a change...be it, to experience being a painter...paint, to experience being a musician...perform music, to experience being your true self...love, love unconditionally, forever and ever and ever, love without the desire to be loved in exchange, without the expectation as to what love should be like, love as if there was no tomorrow and as if yesterday never existed.

small steps as they say, small steps...

see: kiva.org

in rememberence of Fatimat Al-Zahraa

Fatimah was a daughter of the Islamic prophet Muhammad from his first wife Khadija. She is regarded by Muslims as an exemplar for men and women. She remained at her father's side through the difficulties suffered by him at the hands of the Quraysh of Mecca.

After migration to Medina, she married Ali ibn Abi Talib, Muhammad's cousin, and was mother to four of his children. She died a few months after her father, and was buried in Jannat al-Baqi in the city of Medina, although the exact location of her grave is unknown. Most Shias believe that she was injured when defending Ali against the first Khalifa, and that this incident led to her early death.

About living...

It's amazing what can be accomplished by a simple act of appreciation. It's so simple, so simple..

"Sufism is, to possess nothing and to be possessed by nothing."

Nazim Hikmet "Yasamaya dair"

YASAMAK SAKAYA GELMEZ,
BUYUK BIR CIDDIYETLE YASAYACAKSIN
BIR SINCAP GIBI MESELA,
YANI, YASAMIN DISINDA VE OTESINDE HICBIR SEY BEKLEMEDEN
YANI, BUTUN ISIN GUCUN YASAMAK OLACAK.

YASAMAYI CIDDIYE ALACAKSIN,
YANI, O DERECEDE, OYLESINE KI,
MESELA, KOLLARIN BAGLI ARKADAN, SIRTIN DUVARDA,
YAHUT, KOCAMAN GOZLUKLERIN,
BEYAZ GOMLEGINLE BIR LABORATUVARDA
INSANLAR ICIN OLEBILECEKSIN,
HEM DE YUZUNU BILE GORMEDIGIN INSANLAR ICIN,
HEM DE HIC KIMSE SENI BUNA ZORLAMAMISKEN,
HEM DE EN GUZEL,
EN GERCEK SEYIN YASAMAK OLDUGUNU BILDIGIN HALDE.

YANI, OYLESINE CIDDIYE ALACAKSIN KI YASAMAYI,
YETMISINDE BILE, MESELA, ZEYTIN DIKECEKSIN,
HEM DE OYLE COCUKLARA FALAN KALIR DIYE DEGIL,
OLMEKTEN KORKTUGUN HALDE OLUME INANMADIGIN ICIN,
YASAMAK, YANI AGIR BASTIGINDAN.


DIYELIM KI, AGIR AMELIYATLIK HASTAYIZ,
YANI, BEYAZ MASADAN
BIR DAHA KALKMAMAK IHTIMALI DE VAR
DUYMAMAK MUMKUN DEGILSE DE BIRAZ ERKEN GITMENIN KEDERINI
BIZ YINE DE GULECEGIZ ANLATLAN BEKTASI FIKRASINA,
HAVA YAGMURLU MU, DIYE BAKACAGIZ PENCEREDEN,
YAHUT DA YINE SABIRSIZLIKLA BEKLEYECEGIZ
EN SON AJANS HABERLERINI.

DIYELIM KI, DOVUSULMEYE DEGER BIR SEYLER ICIN,
DIYELIM KI, CEPHEDEYIZ.
DAHA ORDA ILK HUCUMDA, DAHA O GUN
YUZUKOTUN KAPAKLANIP OLMEK DE MUMKUN.
TUHAF BIR HINCLA BILECEGIZ BUNU,
FAKAT YINE DE CILDIRASIYA MERAK EDECEGIZ
BELKI YILLARCA SURECEK OLANSAVASIN SONUNU

DIYELIM KI, HAPISTEYIZ,
YASIMIZ DA ELLIYE YAKIN,
DAHA DA ON SEKIZ SENE OLSUN ACILMASINA DEMIR KAPININ.
YINE DEDISARIYLA BERABER YASAYACAGIZ,
INSANLARI, HAYVANLARI, KAVGASI VE RUZGARIYLA
YANI, DUVARIN ARKASINDAKI DISARIYLA.

YANI, NASIL VE NERDE OLURSAK OLALIM
HIC OLUNMEYECEKMIS GIBI YASANACAK...


BU DUNYA SOGUYACAK,
YILDIZLARIN ARASINDA BIR YILDIZ,
HEM DE EN UFACIKLARINDAN,
MAVI KADIFEDE BIR YILDIZ ZERRESI YANI,
YANI, BU KOSKOCAMAN DUNYAMIZ.

BU DUNYA SOGUYACAK GUNUN BIRINDE,
HATTA BIR BUZ YIGINI
YAHUT OLU BIR BULUT GIBI DE DEGIL,
BOS BIR CEVIZ GIBI YUVARLANACAK
ZIFIRI KARANLIKTA UCSUZ BUCAKSIZ.

SIMDIDEN CEKILECEK ACISI BUNUN,
DUYULACAK MAHZUNLUGU SIMDIDEN.
BOYLESINE SEVILECEK BU DUNYA
"YASADIM" DIYEBILMEN ICIN...

SUBAT 1948

i've never seen so many stars...

21st of June, 2009 - Summer solstice.

It's midnight and we're standing on top of the hill in the middle of nowhere, right in the heart of beautiful Kauai, three souls starring at the sky. God, I've never seen so many stars in my entire life, literally thousands of clear, blinking lights and shooting stars.

I feel blessed to be able to see this spectacular show, it's almost like they're trying to tell us something, maybe they're saying "we've been watching you for a long time" or maybe "love is all there is".

Good night and sweet dreams to all of you.

Looking into the mirror of my soul

Why are you so afraid of expressing who you truly are?
I'm not afraid, I don't think I'm ready for this.

Lack of confidence is a byproduct of fear.
But how can I transform fear into love?

Have trust that we're here to help and guide you. You'll not fail, love never fails.

love never fails...

I live by the ocean...

I live by the ocean
And during the night
I dive into it
Down to the bottom
Underneath all currents
And drop my anchor
This is where I´m staying
This is my home

I live by the ocean
And during the night
I dive into it
Down to the bottom
Underneath all currents
And drop my anchor
This is where I´m staying
This is my home

And Death Shall Have No Dominion

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead mean naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Dylan Thomas